There are three approaches to what is really one domain:
Friday, December 15
.~ Countdown to 2012 ~.
- Celebrating the Life and Logos of -
Terence McKenna
featuring >>
.~ Lost at Last ~.
w/Very Special Guest Appearance By
PHIL LESH
See http://www.philzone.com/ for details.
Terence McKenna relinquished his body at 2:15 a.m. Pacific time today,
April 3, 2000.
He died at peace and with people whom he loved and who loved him.
There will be memorial events in a few cities over the coming months, and
information about them will be available as plans are made.
Dan Levy
An Update from Christy Silness on March 28, 2000
To Our Dear Friends and Family,
On behalf of my partner Terence and myself, I want to express to you our
deepest thank you for your support during these challenging times.
Your letters of kindness and best wishes, beautiful artwork, and
financial support are a continual source of inspiration to keep living
and staying positive.
We feel very protected and are so very grateful for the love that
surrounds us.
Terence's energy is quite low these days, but his eyes are brighter than
ever. His spirit is strong!
Please know how fortunate Terence and I feel to have such an extended
family.
All our Love and the very Best,
Christy and Terence
An Update from Dan Levy on February 20, 2000
Greetings,
As you may already know, Terence McKenna has been battling
brain cancer since last May. He has had the gamma knife
procedure, radiation, a successful craniotomy, and gene
therapy. He had two MRI exams that were free of tumor
evidence. The most recent one, however, suggested that he
still has a battle ahead. This long and arduous process of
treatment has left him very weak and unable to work.
Terence is currently on the mainland receiving medical and
aternative treatments such as massages, acupuncture, and
vitamin therapy. His medical insurance does not cover
alternative care nor does it cover car rental, housing,
travel, phone bills, or organic food.
He needs our help. Please take this opportunity to support
him with this greatest of life challenges. We would greatly
appreciate your donation sent to:
Terence McKenna
PMB 238
369-B Third Street
San Rafael, CA. 94901-3581
Please forward this message to anyone you think might want to
support Terence.
An Update from Dennis McKenna on December 12, 1999
"Here's what we know now: Terence had his month after checkup just before
Thanksgiving. A good report. The tumor is gone, and there's no sign of
regrowth so far. The brain is normalizing; swelling has gone down, the
midline is where it should be, ventricles no longer compressed, etc. So its
as good as we could hope, but its also only a month after the surgery. A
clearer picture of what is really happening should come with the next MRI and
checkup scheduled for late January. If there is going to be regrowth, it
*may* show up by then. We are keeping our fingers crossed and hoping the
gene therapy will be the ace in the hole. They are not very clear about how
they determines if the gene therapy has worked or not. I guess if you don't
die, that means it worked.
"Terry is doing fairly well, but the big problem now seems to be he is
experience some serious side-effects from the long-term use of the steroids
(anti-inflammatories). He's having "steroid myopathy", basically a
deterioration of muscles and of strength in his legs, especially on the left
side. Makes it difficult to walk any distance and to climb stairs. Its also
painful, he says, especially at night.
"He's doing what can be done for symptom relief. He is now off the steroids
(you have to taper off slowly) and, they tell us, this condition should start
to reverse, slowly. Terry feels that it is slowly getting better. Still,
its a bummer. Its really unfortunate that he has to go through all this. I
feel for him and feel helpless to "do" much.
"Hope all is well with you and your family. All best for Christmas and the
coming "end of civilization" (yeah, right).
Best
Dennis"
An Update on October 12, 1999
This is a further update to Terence's family, friends and many well-wishers
throughout the world, from Terence, Dennis, and Christy.
Terence successfully completed the second phase of his treatment at UCSF
today. He had a craniotomy, followed by additional gene therapy. The
surgery was a success by all measures. According to the surgeon, Dr. Berger,
all visible traces of the tumor have been removed. It will take some more
time to assess whether the gene therapy has been effective, but even if it
has not, Terence has benefitted from the surgery. He is now recovering on
the Neuro ICU unit at the hospital. As far as anyone can tell, he is the
same old Terence; sense of humor fully intact, bemused perspective fully
functional, and no obvious impairments of speech, cognition or movement.
So, for now, it seems that an important phase of Terence's treatment has been
completed. With a bit of luck, the gene therapy will prove effective and may
actually amount to a cure, although that is a word we do not use lightly
around here. What is important, for now, is that these procedures have
bought more time--possibly much more time--while not diminishing quality of
life.
Terence will remain in hospital until the end of the week, and then will stay
in the SF area for about another week. Then, if all goes well he can return
to Hawaii and try to rediscover what normal life is like.
No words can adequately express the appreciation we all feel for the love and
support we have received from family and friends; we could not have done it
without you! And, please, keep sending it. We are not out of the woods yet,
and although we have turned a corner, or perhaps started a new chapter in
Terence's fight for life, we still need your love and support.
And for our part, we send our love and humble thanks to one and all.
An Update on October 8, 1999
This is a brief update on Terence from Dennis. Please feel free to forward
to anyone who needs to know; if I've missed anyone on this list, well,
hopefully you will see this and then get on the next one.
Terence has decided to proceed with the p53 gene therapy protocol, which is
an experimental protocol in Phase I clinical trials here at the UCSF Med
Center.
It involves using a genetically engineered adenovirus to deliver a gene, p53,
to the tumor, which codes for a tumor suppressor protein. P53 is mutated or
damaged in cancerous cells, which is one reason they are cancerous in the
first place. The virus is usedto replace the defective gene with an active,
wild-type gene; if the cells take it up, and the gene is functional, it
should program the cells to stop growing, and to die. Its a great idea, and
the closest thing to a magic bullet that high-tech medicine has come up with
so far. Its also highly experimental and unproven; Terence is the fourth, or
fifth person in the world to ever receive this therapy. The other patients
were all treated recently so there is no data on whether it has worked for
them or not. It *has* worked rather spectacularly in animal models, which is
one reason we felt it was worth a shot.
He's now in recovery, having completed the first and easiest step of what is
a two stage process. First, he was given a biopsy to determine that the
tumor was still alive, and active, and to collect tissue for later uses.
Then, a catheter was implanted into the tumor bed, and the virus cocktail was
administered over about 10 minutes.
Now he has to remain in the hospital for three days, with the catheter
implanted. He can get up and move around, and does not seem to be set back
much from this first procedure (he was conscious and under very light
anesthesia during this phase). So he is staying in the hospital over the
next few days so they can monitor him and also to minimize the risk of
infections. On Monday, he will receive the "big op," which is a craniotomy
in which they will remove the bulk of the tumor, and will administer
additional adenovirus/p53 to the tissue that remains following surgery. This
first procedure, other than getting a biopsy, is not therapeutic, it is part
of the protocol, to determine if the cells do in fact take up the gene and
express it. It's important for the research that this be known, but does not
directly benefit Terence (but it will afford an idea if the therapy is likely
to work). The second part of the operation, in which he will get the
craniotomy and more adenovirus, is designed to be therapeutic. He will in
any case get the craniotomy, which is being done by one of the world's best
neurosurgeons, Dr. Mitch Berger. He will also get an additional dose of the
p53 gene, which, if it is taken up into the tumor cells and expressed, will
definitely be therapeutic if it works. If it does not work, Terence will
still benefit from the craniotomy; and, the gene therapy does not preclude
him from receiving additional treatments down the line, which was one reason
we decided to go for it; it did not require that we "burn any bridges," as
the doctor put it.
So far, so good. We are keeping our fingers crossed and hopes up for a
similarly successful outcome on Monday. Keep your good vibrations coming our
way, and look for an additional update to come your way by the middle of next
week. You may also find additional bulletins, etc. including this one if Dan
posts it, at http://www.levity.com/eschaton
This is Dennis, sending love to all
An update as of August 22, 1999 on Terence's medical condition:
Terence is continuing his fight against brain cancer and has now completed
his radiation treatments and returned to his honme on the Big Island of Hawaii.
there he is living quietly with his partner Christy and they are trying to return
to the routines and projects that characterized their life before the brain seizures
that began his health crises on May 22. In addition Terence is helping to plan the
AllChemical Arts conference,
that will happen in Kona in September. He has scheduled no other events at the moment
and so hopes that all old friends will take advantage of the conference to make the
journey to Kona.
His progonosis remains for six to nine months more of life and
he is planning to use that time to order his affairs and examine a number
of alternative protocols for cancers that might extend his life. His
attitude remains positive and philosophical and he wishes to thank
profoundly all those friends and fans who have written and sent e-mail with
good wishes and various sugggestions as to how to meet this crises. It will be
some time until the impact of the radiation treatments will be known and
until then the attitude of Terence and the people around him is simply to
take each day as it comes.
Thanks for your good wishes,
Dan Levy
A 6/25/99 posting by Terence McKenna to the NOVELTY list:
Dear Novelty Folk--
I am not properly set up, mentally or technologically to receive or respond
to e mail while I am in Honolulu getting my cancer treatments, but my goal
is to come home to my secret rebel base on the Big Island every two
weekends or so. And once again I am there. Just a bit of an up date on my
situation: it is now more that three weeks since I had the gamma knife
surgery. The further it recedes into the past the better I feel. However
I am having focused radiation treatments five days a week and the docs
assure me that in a while, a couple of weeks or more I will begin to feel
less well under the impact of that treatment. So this time is being
presented by the allopathic guys (and gals) as a window of good feeling
sure to fade. Naturally I go through all sorts of changes about my
situation, and the drugs I take, seizure surpressing carbomazapine and the
steroid decadron combine in different ways at different times and move me
around from a kind of "whatever" euphoria to very emotional and thought
provoking states.
I have had all sorts of advice and well meaning suggestions and while I
have tried to follow as much of this as I can I am often confused and not
as sharp as I would wish but here is my sort of general position on my
personal fight with brain cancer. I think that it was wise to have the
gamma knife surgery, though it was radical and high tech and somewhat
experimental it was important to reduce the size of the tumor. The follow
on soft focus radiation is more controversial in my own mind but as an old
mushroom cultivator I know how very important it is to work clean and to
not assume that a little contamination is a containable thing. I have so
far refused chemotherapy, both of the well tried sort and of the more
experimental types, these therapies may have to be tried if things get
worse further downstream. But my intuition is that the people who survive
unusually long times are those who follow the surgery and radiation with
extreme attention to cleaning up their diets and then supplement their diet
very wisely. It is a wake up call to be very attentive to what goes into
my body. You would think that an old psychonaut would have learned that
long ago but what can I say? In other words attention to the details of
food and nutrition will significantly prolong my life. How long? Who can
say? People who are taken hostage for long periods inevitably develop
accommodating relationships with their oppressors. Cancer seems to be a
bit like that, at least to me now. If it insidiously undermines me I may
change my tune but for the moment I accept no diagnosis, though I have deep
respect for my doctors and I simply wish to believe that those who wish to
live and who inform themselves concerning the details of human nutrition
and metabolism have the best luck with these sorts of situations.
Generally my spirits are high and my life is certainly very interesting and
more emotionally rich than before. I am being taught many things and I
welcome this. And I welcome the love and support of friends, this is a
mad and wild adventure at the fractal edge of life and death and space and
time. Just where we love to be, right, shipmates? I will send more news as
I can. Sadly I cannot read all the e mail or mail but I appreciate your
good thoughts. As for the fund set up to help me pay for this situation, I
am grateful, it is amazingly expensive no matter how much insurance once
has. Please feel free to circulate this message to interested friends.
And the band played on.
Love,
T
6/26/99
This is a further update on Terence McKenna, written by his brother Dennis on
6/26/99.
There have not been a great number of developments since the last update was
posted on this website. Terence is undergoing "soft" radiation therapy at
the St. Francis Medical Center in Honolulu. There is a total of about 30
treatments spread over a space of approximately six weeks, so if he undergoes
the full course, these treatments will be finished close to the end of July.
This current therapy is phase II of a two-stage treatment protocol. The
first was completed on June 1st when Terence underwent the "gamma knife"
procedure, also at St. Francis in Honolulu. This procedure, which is an
outpatient procedure that can be done in less than a day, is a non-invasive
way to "zap" the main mass of the tumor. It is the preferred procedure when
the tumor is inoperable due to its position in the brain. The gamma knife
will stun or inactivate the main tumor mass, but the border of the tumor is
diffuse, and it sends articulations into the normal surrounding tissue (our
doctor, tongue in cheek, calls these "mycelia" as opposed to the "fruiting
body", the main tumor mass. Clearly he is on the right wavelength as far as
we are concerned!). The followup radiation therapy is needed to zap this
"mycelia", otherwise the tumor would begin to regenerate immediately from
this mycelial residue. With the completion of this second phase, the
hoped-for result is that the tumor will stabilize at it present size and not
expand any further. With even better luck, it may start to shrink (regress
is the technical term) as a result of this treatment.
The usual course of this type of tumor, unfortunately, is that sooner or
later (within a few months, or possibly within a few weeks), the tumor will
start to grow again. The radiation therapy is meant to buy time, to maximize
life expectancy and also maximize quality of life within that time; it is not
and has never been presented as a cure. In the meantime, we are evaluating
other options, so that if and more likely when the tumor starts to grow
again, we will know what our strategy is going to be. There are a number of
promising experimental therapies, and a number of clinical trials currently
underway at various institutions. Terence may be eligible for some of these
shortly after radiation therapy is completed, while others are restricted to
people with recurrent tumors. We are in touch with the doctors who are in
charge of these trials and, when the time is right, we will be able to enroll
him. This does not mean that they will cure the cancer, in fact, the
expectation is that they will not do so. What they may do, is to buy yet
more time, extend life, and extend quality of life. One reason there are so
many experimental therapies currently under investigation is that none of
them work very well; if there was one that did, obviously, everyone would be
using it. As it is, there is a limited menu of fairly promising treatments,
but no guarantees. Our hope is that Terence will be one of the exceptions,
one of the ones who does respond positively to the therapies.
Many of Terence's friends, email correspondents, etc. have promoted
alternative therapies to us as the "solution" or the "cure". I want to
reassure those people that we understand their concerns, we understand their
horror and revulsion at the "slash and burn" approach to cancer therapy that
seems to be the allopathic model. Those who favor alternative therapies to
the exclusion of any conventional treatments may be disappointed in the
approach we are taking; on the other hand, the "track record" in terms of
actual cures for this particular type of cancer, are no better for
alternative therapies than they are for conventional therapies. If anyone
can point to statistically valid data that proves otherwise (as opposed to
anecdotal "case histories"; there are always a few exceptional recoveries for
just about any procedure, whether alternative or conventional), then we
absolutely want to hear from you!
In the meantime, I want to reassure our friends that while the current
conventional therapy seemed, after careful evaluation, to be the best course
for the present situation, we are aware that alternative therapies have a lot
to offer, and we are using them, when it seems appropriate and when there
appears to be a factual basis for their efficacy (or even when there isn't,
and the therapy is non-invasive). So, for instance, many of you will be
pleased to learn that we are working closely with a highly qualified clinical
nutritionist, who specializes in brain tumors; this person is helping Terence
make good decisions regarding his diet and the use of supplements, both to
battle the cancer and also to minimize the side-effects of his radiation
treatments. We also have had consults and enjoy the on-going advice of some
excellent practitioners of Traditional Chinese Medicine, including herbalists
and acupuncturists. We are taking all of this advice very seriously and
Terence is taking all of these supplements and following the dietary
recommendations as closely as possible. He will continue to do so and will
continue to integrate new therapies into the regimen as they come to light
and to the degree that they appear to hold some promise.
At the present time, we are in a waiting mode. After some consideration,
Terence has decided to remain in Hawaii to complete the course of radiation
therapy that he is receiving there. We have confidence in his doctors there,
have good rapport with them, and after looking into several medical centers
on the mainland where he might relocate, we've concluded that, at this time,
he would receive nothing at any of them that he cannot get in Hawaii. So, it
makes sense to stay in Hawaii for now, so that he can go home to the Big
Island on weekends and be able to enjoy his new home, and be close to his
books, his computers, and the things and people that he loves; in other
words, so that he can live what amounts to as "normal" a life as possible.
Terence's spirits are good, as are mine and that of others close to this
process, which includes his children, Finn and Klea, and his lover and
partner, Christy, and his many, many friends who have been so supporting and
loving during this time. Our optimism and hopes remain high; we are
discovering a new appreciation for each other and the precious time that we
have now to be together in this time. Terence is lucid, and thanks to the
medications, he is feeling good. He is thinking and writing a lot, and we
are having some very interesting discussions in long telephone conversations
every day, exploring not only medical issues and treatment options, etc. but
also the metaphysical, cosmic, and archetypical aspects of what is happening
to him and by extension to all who have been touched by Terence in some way.
We ask you all to keep praying for Terence, for us, and for the process. It
is very important, perhaps most important of all, to keep those "vibes"
coming; they are definitely very real, we can feel them, and we need your
love and good wishes right now.
Some of you who have been following all this may wonder if there is more that
you can "do" in some concrete material way. The last thing that we want to
do is to capitalize on Terence's illness in any inappropriate manner;
however, there are considerable expenses associated with Terence's care,
travel expenses for family members, etc. and these are likely to continue and
actually to become considerably greater if and when Terence reaches the point
where he needs a more intensive level of care. Fortunately, Terence has
excellent medical insurance, so the costs of basic treatment are covered;
alternative and experimental therapies, costs of in-home care, nutritional
supplements, etc. are not, however.
With the help of friends, wiser than we are in the realm of legal affairs, we
have been able to establish a trust in Terence's name under the auspices of a
non-profit foundation, the COPS/Wellness Institute of Technology. Persons
who wish to make monetary donations can now do so on a tax-deductible basis.
Donations should be made payable to the Terence McKenna Research Foundation
and sent to Patti White, c/o COPS/Wellness Institute of Technology, Box 3287
La Jolla, CA 92038.
Again, we thank all of you for your support and love. We are taking each day
as it comes and counting our blessings. Now that our webmaster is back in
the saddle, we should be able to post messages a bit more regularly; but the
process itself goes at its own stately pace and there will be periods when
there is little to report beyond what is posted above. We ask every one to
stay tuned and be patient, and continue to send Terence your good thoughts,
love, and support.
This is Dennis, sending love to all.
NOTE: DUE TO COMPUTER PROBLEMS AND TRAVEL PROBLEMS IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE
TO SEND THIS BULLETIN UNTIL TODAY, SATURDAY, JUNE 6, ALTHOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN
ON WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3. THE REPORT IS STILL CURRENT; TERENCE IS DOING WELL AND
THERE HAVE BEEN NO MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS SINCE WEDNESDAY.
To All,
This is a further brief update on Terence, from his brother Dennis.
Terence has had the first "intervention" for his cancer, in the form of the
"gamma-knife" radiation treatment, which was performed Tuesday at the St.
Francis Hospital in Honolulu. We decided to proceed with this treatment
after thoroughly evaluating other options. We came to the conclusion that
this was the least invasive and most effective procedure in terms of the need
to meet three criteria: 1. To do something *now* to begin to arrest or slow
the growth of the tumor; 2. following the "first, do no harm" doctrine, this
treatment will do the least harm and at the same time will not preclude
Terence from further treatments of an alternative or conventional nature,
including experimental treatments. 3. It "buys time" -- maximum time for
Terence with maximum quality of life; and time for us to continue researching
and evaluating other treatments that can be brought into play at any time, or
whenever appropriate.
The treatment yesterday was apparently completely successful. Terence
suffered no immediate ill effects and was able to spend the night at home
rather than in the hospital. Our post-op meeting with the Drs. confirmed
this; they are pleased with the outcome so far.
The protocol for the gamma knife treatment requires that Terence also undergo
a further series of "soft" radiation treatments, basically focused
x-irradiation treatments of the portions of his brain adjacent to the tumor,
to kill residual cancer cells in those areas. This treatment will take about
6 weeks (30 total treatments spread over that time-frame) and although we
have not made a final decision, we're leaning toward carrying out that part
of the treatment here in Honolulu. Due to the kindness of friends, T and
Christy have an apartment to stay in here, and can easily reach the hospital.
On the Big Island, the nearest treatment center is in Hilo, and since they
are daily treatments, he would have to either commute from his home on the
Kona side every day (too much travel) or find an apartment in Hilo and stay
there 5 days a week. Given the options it seems to make the most sense to
remain in Honolulu for the treatments. He will be able to spend weekends on
the Big Island if he feels up for it.
Spirits are high here, as is hope and even joy. We've now entered a new
phase, we have "struck a blow" against this terrible thing and now we have
(hopefully) bought some time, to develop a further strategy and put a plan
into action. Please keep sending all your good thoughts, good vibes and
prayers coming; we need those things, they are the most important of all and
believe me we do appreciate it.
This may be the last, or nearly the last, of these somewhat irregular emailed
bulletins. Further bulletins will continue to be generated but will be
posted at www.levity.com/eschaton instead of sent in broadcast emails.
Keep an eye on that site for on-going developments and fast-breaking news.
There should be something posted there within the next 48 hours, and there
will be regular updates after that.
Also, we are trying to implement a slightly less chaotic process of gathering
information and evaluating suggestions for treatments. Many of you have
approached us with ideas for alternative therapies; we welcome all
suggestions and dismiss none of them out of hand. However, in instances
where the treatments involve experimental medications, and/or in some cases
herbal therapies, and/or invasive treatments such as surgery, our consensus
is that we will make decisions and choose options *only* on the basis of full
information, after evaluating the information very carefully, and probably
also after bringing Terence's physicians into the consultation. His
physicians are completely open to alternative treatments of all sorts *if*
there is evidence that 1. they will not be harmful and 2. there is some basis
to think that they may help. In this connection, we must be very concerned
that any alternative treatments chosen for Terence do not preclude him from
eligibility for other treatments, some of which are part of experimental
protocols. The qualification criteria to get a patient into certain
protocols are sometimes quite strict, and depend on previous treatments, what
medications they have received, etc. So we've adopted a policy that we will
not precipitately rush into any treatment without investigating it thoroughly
first, and making sure that it will not preclude T from other treatments down
the road which may be even more promising.
So, having said that, I want also re re-emphasize that we do welcome any and
all suggestions, but also ask that you respect our option to evaluate them on
our own terms and in some cases, choose not to implement them. This does not
mean we do not value them! It does however provide a filter that friends of
Terence can apply on their own to decide whether a potential treatment is
worth bring to our attention. Particularly, treatments which must be done in
a rush, and without full information available or on the basis of sketchy
details will simply not be considered until we have the information we need
to make a decision. If you have a treatment that you know about that you
really feel may be promising and worth looking into, you can be most helpful
to the process if you can supply enough information on it to make evaluation
possible *or* supply references to publications, websites, and other
information resources so we can access them and decide for ourselves whether
the proposed treatment should be pursued.
Its now two days since I began writing this, and events have kept me from
finishing it until now. Apologize for anyhing out of date, but it looks like
this bulletin is still more or less current.
Stay tuned to the website at www.levity.com/eschaton for further bulletins.
This is Terence's brother Dennis, sending love to all.