Elevators

I work on the 5th floor, but a lot of the people I work with are on the 40th floor. Which means I have to change elevator banks to get back and forth. This gets to be a pain.

The one thing I really can't stand is the ritual of holding doors while people come rushing in. There are six elevators per bank. If everybody would just mellow out and wait for the next one, we'd all be happier.

Sometimes I'm alone in an elevator and I'll see somebody rushing up to the door, thinking I'll jump for the "Open Door" button in time to get them in. I stand peacefully in my state of zen concentration, arms at my side, while this happens. Sometimes the person will emit a barking noise, like "WACK!" or "HUHMP!" as the doors close in their face. Sometimes it'll be a harumphing, sweaty, busy-looking businessman in a suit lugging a briefcase and a laptop. This makes it extra fun. Sometimes the businessman will try to open the doors himself by smoothly wiping his arm through the space between the doors, making no contact with any physical surface, believing (wrongly) that the doors are controlled by a light sensitive sensor (it's actually just pressure-sensitive bumpers). I stand there calmly watching as the doors shut on his surprised face.

This hardly ever happens. But when it does, it's worth waiting for.